WARNING: This is NOT a book report. These are some thoughts that I had, and felt the need to write. If you are looking for a book report, this is not it.
DISCLAIMER: Anything I say in the following is not meant to offend anybody. These are simply my opinions and random thoughts that I had throughout the day.
Okay with that aside.....
Every now and then, I get inspired to write something. Not very often as you can tell by my blog, and how often I post things. But occasionally I do. Recently, I've felt the need to write about self control. It's something that I struggle with every day. I am constantly faced with a battle between the temptation to do something, and the self control to say "No" to it. Whether it be eating one more cookie, or not talking to someone online even though I REALLY want to. The only problem with me writing about something though, is that I tend to ramble sometimes...so bare with me. Here we go:
I guess I'll start by explaining what I think self control really is. Most people think of self control as the ability to control what you do (or don't do), and when you do it, all by yourself, without any help. But I think that there is more to self control than what meets the eye. Self control is not just controlling what you do it's also controlling what you think and say. I'm sure you've heard (at least a variation of) the quote, "Carefully watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Manage and watch your words, for they will become your actions. Consider and judge your actions, for they have become your habits. Acknowledge and watch your habits, for they shall become your values. Understand and embrace your values, for they become your destiny." (Mahatma Gandhi)
We are even warned in Proverbs 4:23 to guard our thoughts, "Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life."
Self Control does not start with our actions, it starts much much sooner, with our thoughts. We all slip here. We all have thoughts that we wish we could have avoided. Sometimes they are about a certain Judge we had at a Speech and Debate Tournament, sometimes they are about a particular person we saw in a store, sometimes they are about our friends and family, and sometimes even about ourselves. Having the self control to only think about certain things is incredibly difficult. Any little instance might spur a thought about something that you have been trying to control. And eventually if you think a distinct way for long enough, you will start to say things that you wish you could have controlled. I say things all the time that I wish I could take back. Again if we look at the Bible we find James chapter 3 talks about the controlling of our tongues. He writes about the effect of the tongue on the body saying, "We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check." (James 3:2) And then he goes on to talk about the double sided nature of a tongue, "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be." (James 3:10)
Controlling our tongues is almost as difficult as controlling our thoughts. But it is harder than controlling our actions. Sometimes it is easy to tell yourself not to eat another cookie, or to distract yourself with school (or speeches) so you won't spend too much time online. It isn't always easy, there are times when I think I simply can not control my actions. And there are times when I actually can't control myself...or I simply give in to the temptation to do whatever it might be. But I definitely control my actions better than I control my words, and I control my words better than I control my thoughts. Debaters can think of it as a slippery slope, one leads to another, until eventually you end at Hitler and world domination. (haha)
When looking things up about self control, I found a quote that made me stop and think. “Those who restrain desire, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained.” (William Blake) At first I thought, "Well, that's wrong. I have a really strong desire to lots of things, but I'm able to control myself." But that's the point then, isn't it. What I think of as a "really strong desire" must not really be that strong or I would choose to ignore the feeling that I should say no. What we place our desires in, end up being the things that tempt us most. If we are not tempted to eat another cookie, then we must not actually have that strong of a desire to eat it. Self Control is even deeper than your thoughts, self control dwells in your heart. What you desire. If you desire something enough from your heart, then you think about it more, and if you think about it more, you talk about it more, and if you talk about it more, you do something about it more. So really, self control begins with what you desire.
Now, can we, changing and fickle people, actually obtain self control? Or is it a gift? Is self control not truly controlled by ourselves? Is it controlled by something far more powerful than us? We know that we are tempted when we desire friends, and wealth, and worldly possessions. But what if we desire something far more? What if we desire a relationship with the Lord? Well, Deuteronomy 4:29 tells us, "But if from thence thou shalt seek the LORD thy God, thou shalt find [him], if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul." If we seek (or desire) a relationship with God, we will find him. We should desire God as David desired God, "I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law [is] within my heart." (Psalms 40:8) If God is first in our heart, having "self" control will come easier, because God is in our desire, we would think about God, we would talk about God, and we would act in a righteous fashion. You might be thinking, "Yes, but even David was tempted, and so was Job, and so many others who desired God. I desire God." Yes, they were all tempted, but if you notice God was with them all throughout their temptations. Everyone falls. But that doesn't mean that we can't get back up.
I don't know if there truly is "Self" Control. I think that controlling our desires requires us to know and trust the Lord. He can overcome any temptation we might have. If we are tempted by something, anything, having a desire for the Lord, and trusting Him, can overcome the temptation. Giving our burdens to Him, will relieve our minds of the task, and allow us to continue focusing on the Lord. It is my opinion (and I fully accept that I could be completely wrong about this) that "Self" Control is a deception. Something we tell ourselves we should have so that we feel powerful. Society considers self control as a trait of a mature person. But the control doesn't come from us, it comes from God, who is infinitely more powerful and righteous than we are. When we truly give our hearts and desires to the Lord, He will guide our thoughts, and in turn our words and our actions. He will shine through everything we do.
